Overheard

Although the school year is winding down, I'll try to give you a brief sample of my daily encounters and interactions...

1) A girl talking about how she has to write a paper, "I'm going to write mine over how I am not a religion, I don't believe in God".

2) A student, who just had a baby son born about 2 months ago, wont be allowed back in the house of his girlfriend for 2 weeks b/c, "That chick's mom got some crazy boyfriend and thinks I'm bad news. I'll wipe his a$$ out quick if he doesn't let me see my boy and my girl".

Sometimes, things just catch your attention...these would be the two that did today...

Oh, and right before I log off...

I'm subbing in a "Resource study hall", which is a self contained study hall for kids with special needs...

Check this interaction:
Student A: "I haven't had a very good day today"
Student B: "Why, what happened?"
Student A: "I just have to hang around a bunch of retarded kids"...

Now the conversation is on recycling...I think I'm done for the day...holy crap...

Golf

The weather allowed for my favorite spring/summer activity...golf...

I was able to play 18 holes on both Saturday and Sunday at 2 different courses (by the way, I walked both times and it was a good workout,something I'm going to try to do the majority of the time I play). First time out I flirted with 100, second time out I was well under, probably mid 90's. For the first two times out, I was pleased.

Now it's time to perfect the swing b/c Friday I head over to Salina to play in a Tournament Saturday morning.

Only problem is now, I have no excuse if I don't play well...

Job

As the process continues on, more information has come out. I have just found out today that they are doing more interviews next Monday (who knows when else, but for sure Monday).

I was hopeful that I would know something by today, but it sounds like I won't know anything for at least another week.

I suppose in times like these it's really important to have patience and faith.

Impatiently waiting...

I'm waiting, trying to patiently, regarding the Men's Basketball job I interviewed for last week. Hopefully I will know something this week.

Sooner the better!

Interview

Yesterday, April 16th, I was able to experience one of the cooler things that has ever happened.

I was able to interview for a Head Basketball job at a local high school. The process, the questions, the presentation, all contributed to a pretty sweet experience.

I am now in a wait and see mode, but am hopeful that I hear something soon.

They asked me a couple of really interesting questions, things to think about...

-If you had no restrictions in your life, what would you be doing?
-What are the two accomplishments you are most proud of?
- What would you say to a player who told you he wanted to be treated "fairly"

Just some things to think about, I know I thought they were all good questions, very thought provoking.

Thanks

Thanks for all of you who have inquired about my dad.

He made it home on Tuesday, 8th, and is resting at home. He is about 70%, but is quickly gaining each day. We're all super excited that things have progressed as they have.

Thanks for those of you who do read, I am going to try to make an effort to update it more.

MAC

Update

For those of you that still read, thanks...also, here is an update.

My father had brain surgery on Thursday, April 3rd, to repair an aneurysm that had developed. He is resting comfortably in the hospital and is hopeful to be released middle of the week.

Prognoses is 100% full recovery and we are just super excited that it was detected.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers, it's no wonder that he is doing so well.

Coaching 'em up...

Chili Cook-off

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions
to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the
other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that
spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when
they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from
all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid,
was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to
look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding

considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips
off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming.
Screw those rednecks.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic.Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a
snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI..

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment.
**I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3.
He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting
any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

Bill Simmons

This article is taken from the Dec. 3 issue of ESPN The Magazine.

I love fatherhood for the little things. Like having the power to derail any tantrum with five simple words: "Wanna get some ice cream?" Like stepping in on those last few bites of grilled cheese because kids never finish a meal. Like being awakened each morning by a smiling kid instead of a blaring alarm clock. Like having my own mini-McMahon who laughs at every joke I make, especially if it involves flatulence.

As the old saying goes, children make us appreciate what we stopped appreciating long ago. (I don't know who said it, but it's been said. And if it hasn't been said, then please, let me say it.) Ever wonder why Larry King sired two more after turning 125 years old? Because he's selfish, that's why. He wanted those last chances to appreciate the little things.

I totally get that. In the past few weeks, I've relived the following experiences through the eyes of my 2½-year-old daughter: the joyous celebration after the Sox won the World Series (she loved watching everyone jump on each other); trick-or-treating; a first trip to the movies (she threw an impressive complete game at "Bee Movie"); and, finally, a first real live NBA game (Cavaliers at Clippers).

I most wanted to see her reaction to the game. She has actually liked hoops ever since it became part of her nighttime routine last spring. As far as she knew, our TVs could show only Red Sox games and NBA playoff games after 6 p.m. (See, I told you kids are great! They'll believe anything!) She gravitated toward basketball because of its colors and sounds, the running and jumping, the tattoos and chest-thumping and, most of all, the simplicity. Basically, players try to make the basketball rip through the net, and when they do, everyone applauds.

Now, here's where my demented genius comes in: I think that kids can be brainwashed to believe anything is fun as long as you seem excited about it. You could say to your child right now, "You know what we're doing later? We're heading to the yard to watch grass grow!" And if you sell it well enough, they'll be counting the minutes until the back door opens. Seriously. So when I asked my half-asleep daughter if she wanted to watch basketball in Daddy's bed, I made it sound more fun than mashing bananas with The Wiggles. In retrospect, I probably didn't need to sell it so hard. She was so happy to get called up to the majors (Mommy and Daddy's bed) and maybe get her head rubbed, too. But that's how she was introduced to basketball: I brainwashed her, lied to her and wore her down.

Fast-forward to the Nov. 11 Cavs-Clips game. When I asked if she wanted to go, I presented the offer as if I were suggesting we fly in a helicopter to eat M&M's on the moon. And I sold LeBron as a combination of Santa, Elmo and our UPS guy. After a few YouTube clips, she was hooked, screaming at her mom, " We're gonna go see LeBron!" Her excitement only amplified over the next few days. Meanwhile, I started to worry because 150 minutes is a long time to keep a child entertained. Could she make it through the third quarter? Could she even make it to halftime? Would she melt down like Fausto Carmona at Fenway?

As soon as we got inside the Staples Center, I immediately bought a bucket of popcorn that was bigger than Eddy Curry. (We learned at "Bee Movie" that a big bucket buys you 35 solid minutes, even if it might cause diarrhea later. Whatever.) We missed the national anthem but caught the pregame intros; she was transfixed when the arena went dark. We found our seats in time for the opening tip, and within about 3.2 seconds, she was on my lap and promptly entering " The ADD Zone," an inevitability for any little kid who is digesting too many images and noises at once. The Zone-Out -- and the Art Shell Face that accompanies it -- lasted for a good 10 minutes, just her staring straight ahead as she shoveled popcorn into her mouth. It was like the Raiders' 2006 team video.

She eventually emerged from her stupor and started to ask about the JumboTron, which she mistook for a giant TV. Could we touch it? (Um, no.) Was there a remote control? (Sadly, no.) After the 57th straight JumboTron-related question, I steered her toward LeBron. She was captivated as she watched him lope around, right up until she became distracted by the referees' whistles (she wanted one for herself), the substitution horn (she liked the way it sounded) and everyone who was eating and drinking around us ("Look, he has popcorn too").

She liked how the players huddled in a circle for timeouts, as well as my revelation that the players had their own " teacher" (the coach). She liked putting her drink in the cupholder that comes with each seat. In fact, she liked it so much she must have done it 735 times in 20 minutes. She was so delighted by the Clippers dancers that I'm more worried than ever about keeping her off the pole (every father's most important job). She loved clapping with the crowd after each Clippers basket, and she loved hearing the crowd boo and yell after a dubious nontraveling call on LeBron. And she got a special kick out of the guy behind us calling one of the referees a jackass. Really, she loved it all.

But two moments stand out above the rest. In the second quarter, LeBron swiped a pass and had a clear path right in front of us to a breakaway dunk. I nudged her eagerly -- watch this, watch this! -- as the crowd started buzzing and flashbulbs went off. When Bron-Bron delivered the goods with a hellacious double-clutch jam, everyone was delighted, including my daughter, who screamed out loud and giggled afterward. (She officially loves LeBron now. At least I think she does. She kept getting him confused with Larry Hughes and Daniel Gibson.)

The other moment occurred when the crowd improbably broke out the wave, quite possibly the single greatest moment of her young life. She loved watching it slowly ripple around the stadium, waiting for it to reach our section and then jumping up with her arms raised to yell at the top of her lungs. To be honest, I've always thought the wave was reprehensible. But not anymore. Anything that makes my kid that happy is fine with me.

Unfortunately, she threw only seven innings because of a Grady Little-level managerial mistake on my part: At halftime, we shared a large Sprite and one of those pretzels covered with cinnamon and sugar. I may as well have administered an eight ball. What was I thinking? By the end of the third quarter, after she'd turned into the Great Cornholio and started to sing " Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" at the top of her lungs, I knew we had to leave before she kicked a hole through the seat of the poor guy in front of us.

The good news: She threw a tantrum; she wanted to stay. I guess if I'd had a moment to reflect as I hauled my wailing child out of the Staples Center, I'd have realized the NBA had itself another fan. Instead, I had to stop the commotion: " Wanna get some ice cream?"

UNC Mascot

A wonderful feature...

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?&brand=null&videoId=3069036&n8pe6c=2

Typical Soccer...

NYON, Switzerland (AP) - AC Milan goalkeeper Dida was suspended for two Champions League matches Thursday for pretending to be injured after being touched by a Celtic fan who ran onto the field.

The incident occurred last week when the Scottish team beat Milan 2-1 in Glasgow. A fan ran onto the field late in the 90th minute and made what appeared to be minimal contact with Dida.

The Milan goalkeeper then turned to chase the fan before dropping to the ground. He was then carried off the field on a stretcher and replaced.

Celtic was fined $25,400 for the incident and will have to pay an additional $25,400 if it fails to control its fans again in the next two years.

KSU-College Gameday

MUST watch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAfsK1KwbtM

Good boyfriend...

GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- Florida safety Tony Joiner, a starter on the Gators' defending national champion football team, was arrested by Gainesville Police and charged with burglary on Tuesday, according to the Gainesville Sun.

Joiner is accused of going into an impound lot to retrieve his girlfriend's car at approximately 4:30 a.m. Tuesday. His girlfriend's car was being held at Watson's Towing, the Sun reported, in lieu of a $76 towing bill, according to the police report.

The police report said witnesses saw a man push open the gates of the towing service and drive a car out. As he was trying to close the gates, one of the witnesses confronted the man, who then drove the car back in the lot.

Police arrived and arrested Joiner, who has 17 tackles and an interception for the Gators, who travel to face No. 1 LSU on Saturday night. Florida lost to Auburn last weekend.

Bet you can't find us...

Suspects jump from Lewis and Clark Viaduct

A man and woman who were being chased by police were seriously injured after jumping off the Lewis and Clark Viaduct after midnight this morning.

The chase began at 11:44 p.m. at 18th Street and State Avenue in Kansas City, Kan., police said. Police pursued the two people, who were driving a car that was reportedly stolen the previous day, on Interstate 70 into Kansas City, Mo.

The two people then got out of the car and went over the side of the bridge. It is not known whether the man and woman were suspects wanted in the stolen car case.

The woman had life-threatening injuries, according to media reports

Uneventful weekend...

Hope your weekend was good...

Randy Shannon article

Also...

If you get a chance to pick up the September 10th issue of SI, check out the feature on Miami's Head Football Coach, Randy Shannon.

TERRIFIC read...

Update

This year I am an all-day sub at the High School. It is quite the change from running the Study Hall program. For instance, the class I am subbing for right now has 16 kids in it, and they're all working on their "Principles of Engineering" project.

I was in a Math class yesterday, doing Calculus..the only problem with this whole sub thing, is the kids are definitely smarter than I am.

At least I had that over them in Study hall...

Yes, I am still alive...

After a summer of not updating the "Press Conference" I am back at it...

I hope that you had as good of a summer as I did. A few highlights as to my summer.

-Spending it with Melynda.
-Golfing 20+ times.
-Spending the 4th of July in beautiful Colorado.
-Being the best man in my best friend TK's wedding.
-Moving into a new townhome.
-New 61' Samsung HDTV.
-Chiefs games, Royals games.

There is SOOO much that I am missing, but those were the first few that came to mind...

Summer...

It is 9:41 and I am debating when/if I want to go to bed tonight. Not having anything holding over my head to do tomorrow is a wonderful feeling, and definitely an advantage to being in education.

After school was out on Friday, the 25th, I went to Oregon to spend time with Melynda, and we had a blast. I came back Monday night at midnight and we had camp 5am-3pm Tuesday through Friday, then we played in a Tournament Sat/Sun where we went 5-1 and lost by 3 in the Championship game.

In otherwords, today felt like my first "true" day of summer. I went to 6:30am workouts, had some breakfast, got a workout in myself, went to the pool for a while, and then hit some golfballs. I can't complain too much can I?

Hope all is well with you!